Whether you identify as male, female, non-binary, have two breasts with two nips or a couple more or less — we all got them! A breast/chest massage practice is an easy, accessible and free (!!) step to start to understand and genuinely love your body.
Please note, I use the word breast and chest interchangeably throughout this blog. You know what language you like best, so please replace or swap while reading with your preference terms!
I first heard of a breast massage practice while working with a sexuality coach, Whitney Ullom, several years ago. I started working with her because I felt incredibly numb and disconnected from my body. We caught up weekly and I had different homework practices to do in the time between when we saw each other.
A few weeks into our work, one of my practices was to complete a daily breast massage. This felt like a big commitment haha but somehow the commitmentphobe in me persisted.
During my 1st practice, I felt very little, but Whitney reassured me this was normal and just a part of the process of learning to connect back with my body.
Following my 2nd practice, my period came after about 3 or 4 months of no bleeding. This shocked me but I had no doubt this was my bodies way of telling me "thank you for paying attention".
After a week of the practices, I hadn't turned into some heart exploding goddess - but I had started to notice sensations in my body and that was huge for someone who previously felt numb from the neck down.
I now revisit this practice whenever I'm feeling disconnected, "in my head" or like I need to give back to myself in a nurturing and kind way.
What you'll need:
- Your favourite oil or anything organic/natural you have lying around the house
- Between 5-15 mins of protected time
- A playlist with your favourite songs
- That's it!
If having direct contact with your skin feels too much, then know you can always skip the oil and complete the practice on top of a shirt or jumper.
Step 1: Pick your oil.
I pretty much use whatever is hanging around. I normally go for a cool oil like coconut in summer or a warmer oil like almond in winter. I sometimes get real fancy and add in a few drops of essential oil.
Note: if you’re breast feeding you will need to be conscious of what you’re lathering on those life givers. If you're going to be outside that day with your chest exposed, don't use oils with citrus in them (can cause burning when in the sun).
Step 2: Be generous with your portion.
Use a good sized amount to help with the slide and glide of things and don't be afraid to add more if you need.
Step 3: Warm the oil up.
Gently start rubbing your palms together to warm the oil up. This is particularly helpful for cooler oils to bring life and warmth into them.
Be intentional with this step. Our hands are a highly sensitive body part, so start to bring awareness to how the oil feels in between your palms or notice whether you can move slowly and sensually.
Step 4: Now place your hands directly on your skin.
Slow down and take your time to physically and emotionally connect with your body. Take full breaths into the space behind your hands and stay on this step as long as you need. There is no rush to bring movement into your practice.
Sometimes simply noticing what thoughts or emotions come up when you've brought physical contact and attention to your chest is a beautiful experience.
Box breathing is useful here. What that looks like is breathing in for a count of 4, holding on the in breath for a count of 4, breathing out for a count of 4, holding on the out breath for a count of 4.
"In, 2, 3, 4. Hold, 2, 3, 4. Out, 2, 3, 4. Hold, 2, 3, 4".
Step 5: Move in a “releasing” direction.
Now you'll begin to bring movement into your practice. Start by going up on the inside and down on the outside.
Think about anything you want to let go off or maybe visualise sweeping away any stagnant feelings off of your chest. You can do one breast at a time or both!
Don’t overthink, just do.
Step 6: Move in an “infusing” direction.
Once you feel like you have moved through all that you'd like to release, you'll begin to move through an infusing direction.
Going up on the outside and down on the inside, think about any emotions or feelings you’d like to invite into your body. You might want to repeat a mantra or speak loving words to yourself. I generally use a variation of the phrase: “I feel safe and at home in my body”.
Finish out your practice however you like. Maybe you want to return to stillness and hold space for happy or sad tears. You might want to dance and shake out any emotions. Or it could lead to a self pleasure practice or partnered intimacy.
Step 7: Full permission to love the shit outta yourself.
Perky, saggy, lopsided, implanted, deflated or even missing — at the end of the day it really doesn’t fucking matter. They are perfect exactly at they are and they are yours and most importantly they deserve your time and attention.
How does your relationship with your chest reflect your greater respect, compassion and connection to yourself?
Do you feel disconnected from this area of your body? Ashamed? Absolutely got smacked in love?
No judgment here, just getting curious and exploring ways to take care of yourself ❤️